In recent weeks I’ve been watching, reading and listening to members of the deaf, hard of hearing and hearing communities online. There have been many heartfelt professions of wanting to build bridges and create an environment where we can all get along. It shouldn’t matter if we or our children wear hearing aids or cochlear implants or use spoken or sign language. I really felt that big changes were on the horizon and perhaps they still will come into fruition. But the loosely knit alliance is still so young and fragile, something that was clearly illustrated this evening online. It amazes me that it takes so little for people to abandon their good intentions and throw up walls.

It all started with the Hall of Shame post on Mishka Zena’s blog. The post focused on a devastating story about a family who gave back an adopted deaf child after learning the child wouldn’t be eligible for a cochlear implant. On her blog, Mishka commented that, “We have seen many examples of overzealous parents constantly trying to fix their children, refusing to accept that the child may not be perfect. But this case takes the cake.”

Mishka’s unfortunate use of the word “fix” in regards to parents who choose cochlear implantation for their deaf children drew an emotional and yes, irate, reaction from An American Mom in Tuscany blogger, Jodi.

The argument over the terminology was blown wide open when Mishka decided to defend herself and her choice of words publicly on her blog in the What’s the Problem with “Fix?” post. More than 120 comments were posted on this discussion with folks hashing out the use of the term and whether Jodi was actually yelling at Mishka by using capital letters in her post. The negativity and uselessness of the entire discussion was appalling. I even said so in comment number 120 which is reprinted below:

I’m sitting here, once again, stunned at the level of nastiness and hatred being spouted online. And over what? Complete and utter nonesense.

One of the first things I noticed is that way back up in Comment 39 Mishka said, “Oh, because I am deaf, I shouldn’t object to how a hearing person treats me, that is it?” That right there raises a red flag for me.

Mishka and I had a misunderstanding/disagreement about a week ago. She was annoyed that I posted about it online and sent me several emails telling me so. We straightened it out, or so I think we did. But now, her disagreement with Jodi was taken to the blogwaves with a vengeance and an incredible display of defensiveness.

Jodi is a passionate blogger. Anyone who reads her American Mom in Tuscany blog knows this from any one of her posts. She has an incredible, rich voice and blogs with great emotion. Her use of capital letters was her way of showing her indignation at being told her parental choice to enable her deaf son to hear with a cochlear implant was a “fix” as if she had a poor, broken, defective child. Any parent who has chosen this path is going to react the same way toward this terminology.

Mishka, for someone who professes to be “unbiased” and is interested in “showing all sides of the cochlear implant issue” you have an uncanny knack for dividing the communities of deaf and hearing people who have a connection to hearing loss (either themselves or a relative). Perhaps there are deep rooted issues and experiences in your background that provoked you to react to Jodi’s blog post in the manner you did. We, the readers, have no way of knowing exactly where this anger came from. And from all the vengeance and nastiness I have seen here in the comments of this post, I don’t have an interest in learning more.

All I can say, is that this is not a productive use of time or blog airwaves. If a blogger’s goal is to build up credibility and readership, this is NOT the way to do it.

No one ever said building a bridge was easy, but if the builders can’t roll up their sleeves and leave the anger at home, nothing is going to get done. In fact, the ocean may just expand and we’ll all be left adrift for another generation or two.

Tweet This Post

Popularity: 4% [?]