Cyborg Ear, Cyborg I: A Memoir of Passage

The second body is the one I had between July 7th and October 1st, 2001. This body was almost completely deaf, save for a vague rumbling in the right ear which I took to be sound.

The third body is the one I now have, with a Clarion CII cochlear implant occupying a small hollow in the left side of my skull. This was implanted in the left ear on September 6th and activated on October 1st.

This first installment chronicles the day of my loss, and the few days which followed it.

"This doesn't sound right"

Reno, Nevada

July 7, 2001

10:30 am

It hasn't been a good morning. I barely made the plane. Then the National Car Rental outlet at the airport wouldn't take my debit card. I spend half an hour canvassing the other outlets, with no luck. Finally a man at one counter kindly points me to a courtesy phone.

"Dial 133. It's Enterprise. They usually have cars and their rates are okay."

I pick up the phone. I can hear it fine, even amid the ruckus of the baggage claim area. Yes, they have cars available. We discuss prices. The man on the other end directs me to a particular shuttlebus outside the airport.

It's the last telephone call I will ever make with my natural ears.

Finally, paperwork signed, I am waiting for my car to be driven up. I fidget. I might as well have driven. I haven't saved any time at all by flying.

In the parking lot I suddenly feel the need to look around me. That's funny.

The traffic sounds fuzzy all of a sudden. My batteries must be going.

But I changed my batteries not too long ago.

Maybe it's a defective battery.

I quickly switch the batteries: left battery into the right aid, right battery into the left.

Still sounds fuzzy.

I guess they're both going.

No time to dig through my luggage now. I'll change them at the hotel.

The employee who turns the car over to me is uncommonly pleasant and courteous. It takes the edge off the morning. I thank him. But I'm not too sure what he's saying.

I better not drive up to Truckee, a strange town 6700 feet high, with dying batteries.

So I open up my suitcase and pull out a new set of batteries. I get in the car, change out the batteries, and wait for the familiar rush of clean, loud sound.

It doesn't happen. Still sounds fuzzy.

Gotta be something wrong with my left aid. It's happened before.

I switch the hearing aids themselves, right earmold to the left aid, left earmold to the right.

Still sounds fuzzy. It sounds like I've lost all the highs. It's like someone packed my inner ear with cotton. But my ear doesn't feel any different.

Gotta be the tubing. I pull off the left earmold, inspect it closely, blow through it. I push the mold back in my ear – it's starting to hurt from all the in-and-out activity, it's like my ear's a cheap motel this morning – and wait.

Still sounds fuzzy.

I can't have two broken aids at once.

Maybe the airport detector fried them both –

I've flown a hundred times. I've been through that exact detector before –

I've never flown into Reno before –

Reno can't have toxic airport detectors. It's a civilized city. Why, they even have running water.

I hit on a bright idea. I've got a third hearing aid, the waterproof one. I laboriously pull out my suitcase again and dig out the third aid, right there in the parking lot. It's a less powerful aid, I wear it only for exercise. I jam it in my ear --

I can't even be sure it's on.

Three failed hearing aids at once? Simultaneously?

It can't be my ear –

My ear's never done this before.

Cognitive dissonance. I don't know what else to do, so I continue the plan, adjust the mirrors, find the headlights, drive up to Truckee. The Sierra Nevada unfurls grandly before me; all I can think is, "mountains." I roll the window down, fiddle with the volume wheel, give the on/off switch a real workout, wait for my ears to miraculously clear. But the traffic continues to sound like someone punching a bag full of crumpled paper. All the way up, I'm monitoring on all frequencies, and --

this doesn't sound right

Gotta be the batteries. I've just got a pack of bad batteries. Maybe the heat loosened the seals and they all expired like a bunch of fish in a net.

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