Later on, after I gather background information, I will be informing people as I'm moving into the actual organizing for my dissertation. At this point (Paula, let me know if this is OK) for those who wish to continue, I would ask for your written permission. There's a code of ethics and conduct that needs to be strictly followed for the dissertation process and I want to make sure I respect each one's privacy. So, before we get to that stage, I will inform all. For now, I'm still on the background stuff. I'll pose a few questions:

1) I know this is hard to do, but if you had to list and prioritize the major effects that late deafness has on your life, what would be included?

2) How have relationships with partners and children changed?

3) Has anyone explored alternative methods of communication, sign language?

4) Have you met with other late deafened invividuals? Joined groups like SHHH or ALDA?

5) If you work, has your work environment adapted to you or have you had to adapt to it?

6) What impact has hearing loss had on your self-esteem?

I'm getting carried away. I think I will leave it at this for now. DOn't feel like you've got to answer all the questions at once.

Again, my thanks to all. I would love to open a dialogue both on this board and privately.

I am a member that has been away from my email since mid-April and I have just read your message. I would like to participate and feel that as a "late-deafened" I can offer valuable input.

In brief answer to your questions as you have them posted:

1)The greatest effect my late-deafness has had on me is professional isolation. I can "hear" yes, but I often cannot understand what is being said--a big difference. As I have a need to participate in seminars and professional relationships to maintain opportunities for my future as an academic, the hearing difficulty is a seeming insurmountable obstacle. At this point I have ceased to participate in them until I can devise another strategy!

2) I am always having to explain myself and this begins to be redundant. And very frustrating.

3)Sign language is great--providing those around you know it, otherwise it is worthless as a communication device in the "hearing" world. Lip-reading is an alternative that I have yet to explore.

4)Have not met with other late-deafened individuals, but certainly have welcomed finding this website!

5)I have had to adapt to my environment (socially), with some of my environment (institutional) adapting to me. I am a full-time student studying at a university that is sensitive (thankfully) to any disabilities.

6)Big-impact, initial loss of self-esteem threatened to undermine my long-term efforts with respect to the degree I am seeking. I had to exert great energy to overcome that...all the while realizing that there are going to be things that I simply just cannot participate in no matter what I do.

If I can be of further help please let me know! I am interested in your research and would like to be kept informed as to what you find long-term.

Thank you.

1. No really major effects. Several minor ones. Worry if my job is in danger and if so will I be able to get a medical retirement. Have to have a very loud alarm clock in case I am sleeping on my good ear. Discerning direction of sounds is problem. Teaching the people I work with to talk to my left side.

2. Relationship with my wife and son have not really changed much. My son sits and speaks to me of the good side and the wife still talks loud. She has an excuse to yell .

3. Not yet. I am learning to watch mouths and can pick up words that way. I don't do it on purpose though.

4. Have not meet anyone with my type of hearing loss. Neither has the doctors I've seen for that matter.

5. I've had to adapt to work. The military is still trying to adapt to women.

6. I'm a little more self conscience and tend to socialize a little less than I use to.

I'll add a question then.....

7. So Jack, How does a good looking guy like yourself cope with hearing loss?

Well, you have to look at the positive side of things. You can always pretend that you didn't hear your spouse and if you really didn't hear you learn to just nod your head politely to show your in agreement. If your lucky to be deaf in the right ear you can always roll down the window while driving and you will never here that second driver in the passanger seat. (unless your in Europe). You don't have to worry about getting that fancy stereo system when a clock radio sounds just as good.

2) How have relationships with partners and children changed? Answer: My marriage of 20 years ended. My reaching the "deaf" level of hoh was just too much for him to cope with. Relationship with kids is not as close as it might be if we could call each other on the phone normally.

3) Has anyone explored alternative methods of communication, sign language? Answer: I tried to learn sign, but not successful. Nobody I know uses it around here.

4) Have you met with other late deafened invividuals? Joined groups like SHHH or ALDA?
Answer: My group of choice is Say What Club. No SHHH or ALDA groups around here. CIAI is one hour away, and I might consider going to those meetings if I do better with the 2 CIs than I did with just the N22.

5) If you work, has your work environment adapted to you or have you had to adapt to it? Answer: I had to change careers. I could no longer do social work when I became deaf rather than hoh. I thought the N22 would enable me to return to social work, but it doesn't provide enough help. I hope the new CI along with the N22 will.

6) What impact has hearing loss had on your self-esteem? Answer: a very big impact. It's changed how others view me (in a negative way), so of course it's changed how I view myself also. It wasn't until I found the Say What Club last Dec. that I started feeling good about myself again, as an hoh/deaf person.

Sadly, I hear very little about the environment's willingness to adapt, adjust, have patience. I do hear a little of that from gkostel which is great. SOunds like your university is trying to be sensitive to your needs. My friend is late-deafened and was fortunate enough to have her school support her as well while she was getting a master's degree in counseling. Not that many places would be that supportive.

Jack, an interesting point about the military still trying to adapt to women, not even coming close to hearing problems. My father lost much of his hearing in WWII. Unfortunately, he got little help. It's sad to hear that all they've done is give you a pair of "cross-over aids." Could you tell me what cross-over aids are? I'm not familiar with the term.

Tracilee, I hope you have the opportunity to return to social work, I really believe there is so much the "helping professions" could learn from your experience. Could you explain what a N22 is. Again, I apologize, I don't know the terminology. Good luck with the new implant. It's great you've got the Say What Club available and there for your.

I wonder what is needed to get the "hearing world" to adapt. Is it impatience? People just not having time? Why does most of the adapting seem to be coming from one direction only? Any ideas of what is needed?

I emailed someone before and told them about ALDA, if people are not familiar with that, it's the Association of Late-Deafened Adults. I think you can just type in ALDA and it comes up to their web site. There's all SHHH. I'm still searching out these places myself.

I posted a new question in new topics, if people feel comfortable answering it, it would be appreciated.

Some other things that I've found that are more technically based, but I feel are very helpful are some books that are put out by Gallaudet University PRess done by a group of educators, psychologists, linguists. The two I have are "Cognition, Education and Deafness" and "Advances in Cognition, Education and Deafness." Edited by David Martin. Like I said, they're technical, but they really do examine education, cognition, testing, etc. in deaf, hard of hearing, hearing-impaired, etc. (the various labels they use).

If you'd like to, I would be interested in knowing, some of the types of issues you are facing with your son and what types of support systems are available to you.

I am interested to know in your research have you, (or anyone else who may be reading this), come across the phenomenon of hyperaccusive hearing? I realize this sounds paradoxical but exaggerated and painful nerve response to certain types of noise is a relatively new development in my dealings with my viral caused hearing loss 7-years ago.

My physician tells me this is an unescapable factor that occurs due to the hair cells degenerating from the old viral damage. He also has said that sedation is the only alternative. I would like to know if anyone else has experience with this.

Thank you.

Actually, your message comes at an interesting time. Recently, I have been involved in a court case. I live in a very small town. Two of the witnesses in the case are very hard of hearing. I asked the court if they would provide assistance for these individuals and people looked at me like I was from Mars. One lawyer laughed and said, "We're just a small town, we have have anything like that." Well, I called The Maine Center on Deafness & found out that courts are supposed to provide CART, interpreters, etc., for whatever is going on in their courtroom, regardless of the size of the town. If there's anyone out there who have experienced problems in a court setting, there are supposed to be options available.

In regard to my research, Carey, would you feel comfortable discussing how students or the school access your services. Is your school supportive to providing services for all students who need it? Do you feel there are other students in the school who need your services but haven't come forth? Do you think the school has an understanding of the specific needs of hoh & deaf individuals?

Because I have moved to a new town, I am relucant to get involved with community activities because of the misunderstandings.
My wife and I left one church because the pastor of the church told a group one night that he had no need for disabled people.

I might to lean toward there is much work still yet to be done toward changing attitudes of people and even more so toward people who are deaf and HOH.

The next proirity is family understanding. I have shifted my main means of communication with my family is by e-mail. I do have apmlifers on my phones but this seems to work better. I have not been left out of any family events but certain members tend to avoid conversation because they might have to speak up a bit. In my house, speaking up has been mistaken for hostility or anger. This has been especially true now that my wife has lost the hearing in one ear. Both of us are more in tune to the "non-verbal" body language we use when talking to one another (more when I address the other language section).

I will continue.

I was also interested in something else that you mentioned. I was wondering if our other members also felt the same way. -- You talked about the need to rely more on email as a primary method of communication. I'm trying to understand what that must feel like. I know it still allows for a way to connect, but do you feel that email also distances you from a real connection? I'm not really sure if I'm asking the question right, but I'm just curious as to whether email keeps you bonded to family members or in some way, makes you feel more distanced.

Again, thanks for your response. I will email you as well and would be interested in continuing this dialogue.